THE GREATEST GIFT
After a difficult birth, first time mother Laura Irving felt the fog of depression descending when her daughter Evie was only a few days old. Thanks to the Becoming Amazing Mums (BAM) program she was attending at the time at The Royal Hospital for Women in Randwick, she was quick to recognise what was happening and reach out for help.
Nipping post-natal depression in the bud is just one of the many benefits to be gained from the Becoming Amazing Mums program which has been developed by The Royal Hospital for Women.
The program has been designed for pregnant women who have experienced traumatic childhoods, which may include emotional, physical or sexual abuse, where they felt vulnerable and powerless. “We learned how to watch out for the signs during the program, so I described my symptoms of anxiety to the midwife straight away. I just did not feel right,” Laura says. “Within hours, I’d been referred to a counsellor, and within a few days I had a program to support my recovery.” The program teaches many practical techniques to manage the challenges of pregnancy, birth and early motherhood. There is a focus on how to increase attachment between mother and baby through touch and eye contact
Women attend the program for seven weeks during pregnancy and reunite as a group for five weeks as new mothers once they have had their babies.
Beverley Hurwitz, a social worker and therapist who runs the program, says one of her aims is to debunk some of the many myths of motherhood, so that her graduates don’t feel like they are “failing” if they don’t immediately fall in love with their babies, or have days when they feel like they are not enjoying motherhood.
Particularly unhelpful, she says, is the myth that you can “have it all” - that you can have a family and then seamlessly carry on with your career. “Your identity changes enormously from being a woman to being a mother. It’s a highly vulnerable time. Sometimes during pregnancy, some women can experience flashbacks in relation to their childhood trauma.”
As well as helping them accept the past and move on, Beverley helps participants to bond and attach to their baby by looking at them, massaging them, and learning how their baby communicates. In this way, the mothers begin to feel more in tune with their babies. Participants explore ways they can look after themselves. “We live in an era of such high expectations, that you have to be perfect, and juggle motherhood with a career, as well as posting images of happy times on Instagram.
One of the best ways you can be kind to yourself is to give yourself permission to just be an ordinary Mum, thinking about your baby, holding your baby, and just doing the best you can,” Beverley says.
Entrepreneur Candice said the course changed her life. “All the focus is usually on the baby. Very little time is spent thinking about what it means to become a mother and how this is going to transform your life. It is such a huge shift and it can have a real impact emotionally on a lot of past experiences in your life which very few people stop to think about. The course gave me time, space and focus for me to think about becoming a mother. It helped me think about my emotions, my relationships and gave me practical, positive and incredibly helpful tools which have absolutely supported my transition
to motherhood.
Beverley loves hearing from her graduates. “One of the greatest privileges is seeing them flourish as mothers.”
Funding for the BAM program is provided by The Royal Hospital for Women Foundation, made possible by donations from individuals and groups.
